Sunday, August 22, 2010
Image via WikipediaI hope some of you have the God given sense to at least try the “silence” test that I posted about last month. I can’t seem to keep my mouth shut, and it just seems to dig holes for me. The people I feel the most for, seem to have less and less respect for me as I age, even though I have given most of my time for them at the drop of a hat, and sacrificed more than any man should ever have to. I have done that and numerous other things that sapped me of my life force, and emotions for over a year dealing with the death of my parents. I took care of it all; no one had to raise a hand, unless they wanted. I did it all, I shouldered it, and carried my own cross and several others, and have never had a thank you thrown my way except from my sister who seems to understand the strength it took to do what I did. Everyone else is just blind to what I went through, or just don’t give a shit. Well I am slowly learning that if I would just keep my mouth shut, things would be fine so it’s nothing but my fault, so I blame me and myself only. My brother and sister are there for me, and I know that, but they are not here, so I can’t really get help from them, so I rely on strangers, and I guess that really brings me down. When my brother and sister are in, the last thing I want is to ask them to help me with work or other things that would take their time that they have to visit, and relax….they come here to unwind, and I would not have it any other way, so that is that. I guess I really just need to get this off my chest without talking, so this is my only outlet, the internet world were I can vent and no one really cares, so thanks for listening. :) Until next time, get off your ass and plant something!